Birth Control

As we get into our mid 20’s, as woman we start to feel the pressure of motherhood. To be honest, most of us aren’t really ready for a child. A lot of us have just started our lives or have not yet found “The One”. So to prevent having a bun-in-the-oven, some of us turn to birth control.  According CNN the CDC, did a study proving that 4 out of 5 American women are on the pill.

For centuries birth control has been the preferred method used to prevent pregnancy. There are many different types of birth control including condoms, IUDs,birth control pills, etc.

However,the idea of contraceptive is always met with backlash toward a woman. The general idea is that if a woman is using birth control she is being permiscous when in fact, sometimes we do it for our own benefit. As in having a set visit from our “aunt flow” or to help elivate cramps. For if you don’t take care of yourself who will?

In contrast, the birth control movement advocated for contraception so as to permit sexual intercourse as desired without the risk of pregnancy.[25] By emphasising “control”, the birth control movement argued that women should have control over their reproduction – the movement was closely tied to the emerging feminist movement.


As we get older, our curiosity, needs, and wants increase and our sexual desires become more overwhelming. As women we were always taught that sex is saved for a relationship or marriage, but I don’t agree with that. What is the meaning of feminism if not to own your true identity as an individual?

Psychologist Pamela Maderson refers to this new era of change as, “Sexual Agency.” “Agency refers to an individual’s ability to behave in a way that will bring the outcome in which one desires.”

”When we talk about “Sexual Agency,” we may be talking about a complex group of rights, knowledge, skills, personal authority and/or abilities. The ability to give consent to participating in or declining a sexual activity and having your desires honored. The right to choosing how you define your sexuality, such as: gay, straight, bi-sexual, asexual. The ability to choose whether or not you want to engage sexually with a specific person, or in a specific place or even the time. The ability to choose safer sex practices or birth control.”

We are slowly seeing these changes becoming acceptable within our Western culture. Shows like Sex and the City, give us Miranda; a corporate, hardworking, and self-made woman who empowers her “Sexual Agency” with no shame. She believes in the power to act upon her desires and needs as a woman.

We also see this revolution within our most Iconic figures like Beyoncé and UFC Champion Rhonda Roussey. In a recent interview Roussey stated that she enjoys sex and, when preparing for fights, credits her amazing performance to her sexual tendencies.

The Queen Bee herself has even stated that,

“Women should own their sexuality. There is a double standard when it comes to sexuality that still persists. Men are free and women are not. That is crazy. The old lessons of submissiveness and fragility made us victims. Women are so much more than that. You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist, and a feminist — whatever you want to be — and still be a sexual being. It’s not mutually exclusive.”

Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we don’t have needs.

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I Love Beer!

For a long time drinking beer has only always been associated as a male dominant activity. However, with the recent popularity of microbreweries, drinking beer has slowly become more socially acceptable and appealing to women. Places like Ballast Point Brewing Company and various others are not only taking into account what they enjoy brewing, rtr3ls0gbut also how to bring in consumers who wouldn’t normally drink beer. Most breweries are very chic and tend to have a great atmosphere. Perfect for catching up with a friend or hosting a baby shower.

Times are changing and women shouldn’t be afraid to try something new. Trust me, you might just like it. With beers ranging from stouts to sours, I’m sure there is something that might please your pallet. So next time your guy ask, “What you want to do tonight?” Try suggesting a nice brewery where you can talk, laugh, and maybe gain some beer knowledge.


Why are you so dressed up? -_-

People always tend to judge or criticize me for the way I dress at times. They either love it or hate. I don’t understand what they fuss about.  It is not like I’m wearing anything out of the ordinary. I don’t walk around with fake eyelashes or a wig, but even if I did who cares.  I mean I am not dressing up like it is Halloween or skanky by any means. Yet, the simple pleasures I find in wearing my heels and doing my makeup always seems to come with backlash.

-1The way I dress in no means is ever meant to put anyone down. However, not everyone sees it this way. Some of those who are bothered by it, assume that I’m nothing more than a pretentious snob. So they won’t even talk to me at times. Others will ask the most annoying question, “Why are you so dressed up?”   😀 (Ohhh how I have learned to detest this.) But my answer is simple. I dress up, because I like the way it makes me feel, because I appreciate the respect I get from my elders when I look my best.

My entire life I was taught that one should wake up and put on their best, no matter what. Your entire personal life could be crumbling down; you might have just had surgery a few days ago. So what? You wash yourself off and get ready for the day. There is no need to wear your emotions for the world to see.

Some may think I’m crazy, but it is true. The clothes we choose to wear is determined by our -1mood and vice versa. In they go into detail on how our emotions are reflected through the clothes and colors we choose wear. Frumpy close is said to be signs of depression, and black colored attire is seen as more professional.  They even go on to recommend that the solution to fixing a bad day is to intentionally dress up more than you normally would. This act alone can help lift your spirits and inspire you to have a better outlook on the day.

“Our clothes make a huge difference to what people think about us – and without us knowing or in ways we couldn’t even imagine. People make their assessments in the first few seconds of seeing another; assessments that go way beyond how well you are dressed and how neat and tidy you might look.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    -Dr. Ben C. Fletcher

Several studies have shown that I’m not alone in my crazy mindset of caring about my attire. Appearance really does have an impact on others perception of you, especially in the work force.

For instance Psychotherapist, John Alpert, states in his blog that,

-2“When all else is equal, the person who is better dressed will get the job or land the promotion. Studies have proven […] when it comes to the job search, you can’t change where you worked, or where you went to school. However, you can change how others view you, based on how you look and how you sound. Therefore, dress can be a game changer in both professional and personal matters.”

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Where do you meet these guys?

am a strong believer of, “not shitting where you eat.” So when it came down to me wanting to get back in the dating game I ran out of options quick. I couldn’t see myself dating anyone I went to school with and I couldn’t date anyone I worked with without risking my reputation. So what was a girl to do?


Well on my 22nd birthday trip to Vegas, a friend confessed to me that her boyfriend and she had met through an online dating sight called Plenty of Fish or POF for short. I’ll admit that I had always been curious of dating sites but wouldn’t dare to try them in fear that I would run into someone I knew on there. However after seeing how happy she was with her new man, it struck me, she was so happy with this guy and if it wasn’t for her taking a chance on this website she might have never met him.

According to the Washington Post, singles making up over 55% of the American population, it is no surprise that online dating companies like eHarmony and are ruling the dating scene. No longer are we to find our companions through friends or in person, but through various means from where we can pick a smoker from a non-smoker and even narrow it down to their income level.

So the following week I dumped the cigarette addict (eww) I was dating at the time and started my account. At first it was exciting and very overwhelming. It was like being a kid in a candy store. You had your jawbreakers whose profile gave you a tooth ache from how perfect they were. To the ones who were like Harry Potter jelly beans and made you puke a little in your mouth from how perverted their messages would be.


As overwhelming as it was at first, I knew this was just a part of the process. In order to get anywhere in life you’re going to have to put yourself out there. So I kept at and still do four years later and three failed “relationships” I’m still here in the dating pool of what makes online dating. Don’t get me wrong, they were all great guys in their own way, but they were definitely not meant for me in the long run. Guy one, Crazy Rich Kid, he was the epitome of a spoiled middle class kid who is used to getting everything he wants. His privileged lifestyle led him to be a bipolar and controlling mess so I ran away from him as soon as possible. Guy two, Clark Kent, was the perfect gentleman. He always opened doors, took me anywhere I wanted to go, and even brought me home to meet the family. But when he wanted to move in together and started taking me appliance shopping, I realized that it was too fast for my pace and I ended it. Guy three, Daddy Issues, was a younger guy tall and super loud personality.  I enjoyed his company because he wasn’t overshadowed by my big personality. But his lack of communication and ignorance pushed me away quick. He had the mentality of a child and needed to be reminded and guided on how a relationship works. For example, he shouldn’t break his neck in order to check out the girl who walked passed us.


I’m sure my experience is very similar to many others.  With online dating sites on the rise, I don’t see it ending for me anytime soon. Ideally we all want to find someone special. So why not try it? Online dating is becoming socially acceptable and as embarrassing as it may seem at first, trust me when I say you won’t be the first nor the last to try it.

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